Low Limit Tourneys - Makin Fun o' the Newbs

H-TOWN JOKER wins (1,440 chips).
Blinds have been raised to 10/20
VUNIT1: moron
H-TOWN JOKER: ?
VUNIT1: kodiak
H-TOWN JOKER: lol
KODIAKZERO: excuse me?
H-TOWN JOKER: lol
VUNIT1: no excuse
KODIAKZERO: fold it and shut it, beaccch
H-TOWN JOKER: lol
CALEXNI wins (1,320 chips).
KODIAKZERO: learn to play poker Cunit
VUNIT1: you mean raise and then fold
KODIAKZERO: exactly
KODIAKZERO: when you get to chapter 3, call me
H-TOWN JOKER: lol
KODIAKZERO: and then you can start calling ppl out
VUNIT1: so dumb
KODIAKZERO: I know, but you're new
LEDYES wins (720 chips).
KODIAKZERO: so we'll let it go
VUNIT1: you know that you are so dumb
VUNIT1: that's great
KODIAKZERO: lol
KODIAKZERO: newbie, stfu
CALEXNI wins (1,020 chips).
KODIAKZERO wins (250 chips).
1PAINTER1 wins (3,310) with (Straight, eight to queen).
Player H-TOWN JOKER has finished the tournament in # 39 place.
CALEXNI wins (100 chips).
KODIAKZERO wins (200 chips).
KODIAKZERO wins (300 chips).
KODIAKZERO: ha ha
LEDYES wins (2,310) with (Full house, jacks full of nines).
Player VUNIT1 has finished the tournament in # 38 place.
Blinds have been raised to 15/30
KODIAKZERO: moron
KODIAKZERO: I hope he heard that

Hands to make you quit poker

So I 4 bet it preflop with AAJJs to $52 in $1 PLO 6 max after this joker 3 bets with 2245s. He calls, then bets all in $80 on Q63 rainbow flop; not a bad play on the flop (big draw + fold equity), but how in the hell did he call $50 preflop with that junk?? For more than a third of his stack?? I had it bad all night (down $350 after crushing it night after night), but this hand epitomized the bad running.

My Miracle 3 outer on river

I tend to come into a table hot and heavy, and then change gears and tighten up. Here I overplayed AAxx, and when Ray min-checkraised my $15 turn bet, instead of steam-shoving, I call and river...(drumroll please)...the Royal. That last miracle card didn't slow him down at all, kind of like my aces earlier. But when a donkey like me makes a 3 card suckout on the river, why should it??

Omaha Wrap Shove

The action on this $1 PLO 6 max table was really dying off, so when I limped and bet the unraised pot flopping top set queens, and the guy on right checkraised the pot at me, I figured he must have a lesser set, given that there was no flush draw and any str8 draws would be way behind. So instead of flat calling I reraised the pot, and called when he shoved with his wrap draw.
I miscounted the first time I looked at this replay. Rather than the normal 8 outs with a wrap draw, holding the ace gave him a total of 13 outs. A wrap and flush draw give you got 15 outs for about a 50-50 shot from the flop, so he had slightly less than 50%, but close. Much better than a one-third shot with just a wrap. That's a very big point to remember in Omaha.

Monster Hand, Monster Call

I decided to keep jamming the pot with my wrap draws in this hand, and this guy followed until we rivered it. He shoved with 3rd nut str8, I monster called with 2nd nut str8 in a $230 pot.

Live by the sword,...

Playing $1 PLO 6 max with a big stack bully raising pot preflop every hand, then betting people out. He doubled me up twice when I picked up massive draws, most notably here in this $300+ pot. I flopped open-ended plus medium FD, he shoved on turn with just the slightly higher FD when I hit nut str8. He had well over $500 (two-and-a-half buyins), but overplayed his draws and dropped down to about $50.