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More in the vein of hands that play themselves: betting into the table from early position flopping an open-ended str8 flush draw. I bet near pot $8 into $10, guy on left shoves for $20 with 2nd set of 6s, guy on his left cold-calls. I couldn't make sense of his call; the short stack had enough to properly raise, and thus let me reraise (and with a 50%+ shot at my draws -15 outs - I shoved for $27 more), and then he folds to my shove. If he's cold calling a $20 raise, why fold for $27 more when there's so much in the pot?? I turn my str8 and take down a $65 pot. One thing to consider - he might have had either the open ended or flush draws, the latter of which takes out 2 of my outs).
One thing I was thinking about the other day, although it's true that I've got a 50% shot at hitting my outs (and 2 of those are pure nut outs), I could hit one of my other 13 outs but still lose if he fills up. So what are my true odds? Any 6, ten, or 4 will fill his boat, so there are 7 of those (one 6, 3 tens, and 3 4s), left in the deck. Plus there is the chance that running ranks will hit the board. Too much to think about right now.

Donkey King Kong (me)

I usually don't reraise preflop with 58off, but when I posted the cut-off and the only pf player was the min-raiser to my right, I read weakness (he held ace-ten off), and reraised to 10xbb. Unfortunately, the small blind min-reraised with pocket kings, and normally I'd snapfold, but when the original min-raiser called, I decided to take a flyer and call too. The 589 rainbow flop was beautiful; they check to me, I tiny bet $5, both call. The turned ace should've scared off the short stack kings, but he bets all in into the aces, aces flat calls, I shove for $30, aces calls and I collect a $110 highly-undeserved pot. I'll take it. My preflop read on ace-ten was on, but when a guy min-raises late, he's probably a calling station, so I would've had to bluff big flopping air. Hell, he still might have called. And it's that secondary read that paid off over time.

I took him out when I made a monster call (ok, it was him), 50-plus hands later when he bet all in $37+ into a $42 pot rivering aces vs my aces up, with 3 diamonds showing on the turn. I called (I really didn't think he had the flush or the str8), and finally popped him. Sweet victory. Nothing like waiting around on a table for one fish, then you finally reel him in (or he just jumps in your boat, like here).

Lo-riding Donkeys

Here in 10c O8B I turn quad aces, and BigRocco flopped the 2nd nut lo, check-calls my pot bets ($1 on flop, $3 on turn), rivers the nut lo and bets pot, I shove just in case he's playing just a boat, he calls. He then proceeds to berate me for raising (when he had chased the nut lo on the turn). In low stakes Omaha hi-lo I see donkeys chasing the lo against pot bets all the time. The only upside to this play is being able to nut the lo and bluff the hi, but when he said "I knew you had quads", obviously he wasn't going for that.

Riding the Donkeys

...at 25cO8B 9 max again (average pot size after a half-hour: $27, over 100x bb!!). I'd like to think I played well here, but this hand played itself from the flop. The short stack donkey Turddle bets the pot into the big stack maniac TripleNuts, into my medium stack holding nut FD, nut lo draw, and inside str8 draw, so do I: a) call, b) fold, or c) jam the pot with every last red cent? My only regret - I could only raise for $10, which was a little less than a third of my stack. Donkey shoves for $1 and change more, maniac calls. I turn the perfect card - 4d - which gives me the nut flush and wheel lo. The maniac check-calls my $10 bet - half my stack and a third of the pot, then check-folds a blank river for my last $11. What could he have called with on the turn that he would fold on the river??? Well, he is a maniac. Who cares. I take a $50+ pot (which for those new to math, is 200x bb).

That hand played itself. In this hand, donkey bets a small pot on the turn, and I call with a str8 flush draw - even with the board paired, he is a donkey after all. A surprise check-call from the small blind behind me tells me that I'm probably drawing dead. And the river - the miracle 8h to complete a jack-hi str8 flush. Obviously the donkey's money goes in, and I take Rover's stack also against his big boat queens full - I really thought he had quads what with the reraise game we had on that tragic river, which he should've considered me having. Oh well, I take a $110 pot.

The rule when deciding to enter a hand in hi-lo split games dictates that you hold cards that draw to both ends, not just one. I follow this rule more for limit games, but in pot- and no-limit I'll come in with only a hi hand as long as I'm in position and there has been at most one pre-flop pot raise. Here I limped with all paint on the button, and overcall an early pot bet with mucho outs to broadway versus his top- and bottom-pair. We both turn str8s - me with nuts (I even out-two-paired him there), and he with 2nd nuts, and guess what? All our money goes in. He misses a 2-outer to an underboat (submarine?), and my Broadway holds for a $115 pot.

SUMMARY: after just over an hour of play, I'm up 3.5 buyins. The juice just keeps flowing.

New Donkey Corral: 25c O8B

Don't usually play Omaha hi/lo, but I add it into the mix for occasional variety. You need some real donkeys at the table to make any money; if everyone there is at least half-decent then there's really no edge at all. You'll end up heads up a lot and splitting the pot. But this table was filled with live ones, committing some classic mistakes of the game:

• Calling pot-sized bets after the flop drawing to the lo only, with no reasonable hi or hi draw. This is one of the dumbest plays in poker.
  
• Raising preflop with aces and kings, and then overplaying them after the flop (see chat below, when I slowplayed flopped trips against an obvious preflop big pair).
• Overestimating fold equity. There are so many draws in O8B, when someone bets the pot on the flop, coming over the top bluffing air is -EV of almost infinite magnitude. I felted a guy in a $50 pot when he tried it.
  
• Calling 3- and 4-bets preflop with cards that are good only for hi or lo hands. You're putting a lot of money in before you have any idea of how the hand will develop.
  

This was a nothing hand at 25c O8B, not sure why he was pissed...

http://www.pokerhand.org/?4819536

KODIAKZERO wins ($7.13 chips).
DISCOKG: fuy
KODIAKZERO: sry?
KODIAKZERO: did you mistype "NH sir"?
<<>>
AKADINKY wins ($3.82 chips).
DISCOKG: no fu
KODIAKZERO: ok, well thanks for your dead money

Drawing to something you cannot bet

This is one of the dumbest moves in poker - drawing to something you cannot bet. In this hand of 50c PLO, Fatballs calls my bet on the turn with a baby FD and nut FD, even as the turn paired the board. So when he rivers his nut flush, he checks from early position and gets no action. Now one could argue that with double flush draws, he was in the money on the turn check-call anyways, but I see players making this play without any odds to call (real or implied), and checking their hands after they hit.

Donkey Hit by the Deck

This guy is the biggest donkey to get hit by the deck in a long time. He went from under $40 to over $400 by doubling up donking out hand after hand. I rsd 3x late pf with AQ, he rersd to $21 from the blind with KQs, I shoved (because I knew I was good), and he calls, and hits his flush for a $260 pot. He hit hand after hand, and then the luck ran out. He reraised late with 69s, then called all in from aces in the blind for $35. He went down to about $280 when I raised utg with AQ (again), he reraised to over $20 with 47s, I shoved for $190, he calls and hits two pair.

Luck Be a Lady

His sense of rhythm is way off, but for me, this is the classic poker song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfInancKQdE

O8B Maniac

This guy is trying to play a super-aggressive style of Omaha, but can't quite pull it off. I saw him burn through over $250 since I sat down, busting out and rebuying at least 4 times:

1st bust: http://www.pokerhand.org/?4632967
2nd bust: http://www.pokerhand.org/?4632962
3rd bust: http://www.pokerhand.org/?4632965
4th bust: http://www.pokerhand.org/?4633014

I'm the Luckbox

I've never played with this guy before - he was up 2 buyins on a 7-2 hold'em table when I hit his 7-2 two pair with a flopped set of 3s. The funny part was him spewing about what a luckbox I am. Within the next five hands he called me a joke six times, and a luckbox five times.

( Result for Hand 1605012083 )
KODIAKZERO wins ($69.25) with (Three of a kind, threes).
SHIPIT1227: i knew it
SHIPIT1227: a set
SHIPIT1227: ****** luck box
KODIAKZERO: lol, vs your 27? hahahaha
SHIPIT1227: see how they put 2 an 7 out there
SHIPIT1227: i had 2 pair
SHIPIT1227: u dum ***
KODIAKZERO: and I'm the luckbox, ok HAHAHAHA
KODIAKZERO: ROFL!!!
SHIPIT1227: ur a joke kid
KODIAKZERO: k
KODIAKZERO: you trying to tilt me, or make me laugh?
SHIPIT1227: u got lucky the 2 came out
SHIPIT1227: u ***in joke
( Result for Hand 1605014663 )
SHIPIT1227 wins ($2.40) with (Two Pair, fours and threes).
KODIAKZERO: ok tilt monkey
SHIPIT1227: disgusting luck box
KODIAKZERO: 2nd best sucks don't it??
SHIPIT1227: ur a joke
KODIAKZERO: esp. when u "knew" I had the set
SHIPIT1227: i did
SHIPIT1227: what else u have loser
SHIPIT1227: tuff to get away from
KODIAKZERO: just keep shipping it
SHIPIT1227: if u have AA u lose
SHIPIT1227: u joke
SHIPIT1227: u got lucky i had 2 pair
KODIAKZERO: are you STILL complaining?
KODIAKZERO: hand was over 5 mins ago
KODIAKZERO: move on
SHIPIT1227: shut ur mouth kid
KODIAKZERO: try "block chat" bud
SHIPIT1227: dont worry i will crack u wide open
( Result for Hand 1605017947 )
CHANZE008 wins ($10.20 chips).
KODIAKZERO: keep firing then
SHIPIT1227: im up 100 um good
SHIPIT1227: i was up 150
KODIAKZERO: you came in with $13? wow
SHIPIT1227: intill luck box hit a set
( Result for Hand 1605021955 )
MARCEL260190 wins ($1.25 chips).
SHIPIT1227: if i had 77 u might be cryin rite now
SHIPIT1227: lol
KODIAKZERO: so what feels worse - that I hit it, or that u paid me?
SHIPIT1227: u ***in joke
KODIAKZERO: lol
SHIPIT1227: god u suck
SHIPIT1227: keep talkin loser
KODIAKZERO: yeah I'm a total payoff wizard
SHIPIT1227: tuff hand to get away from
SHIPIT1227: ur the luck box
SHIPIT1227: 2 outer champ
KODIAKZERO: well, if ur as half as good as u think u are, you'll recover
SHIPIT1227: 7 on river
SHIPIT1227: be sick
( Result for Hand 1605023168 )
KODIAKZERO wins ($1.45 chips).
SHIPIT1227: oh dont worry bout that
SHIPIT1227: it will come from u
KODIAKZERO: ROFL, ok
SHIPIT1227: watch luck box
SHIPIT1227: luck runs out
SHIPIT1227: i will b there wit a monster when it does
KODIAKZERO: YOU HIT 2 PR WITH THE WORST HAND IN POKER
KODIAKZERO: JUST STFU
SHIPIT1227: we r at a 2 7 table u ****** loser
SHIPIT1227: god ur a joke
( Result for Hand 1605026474 )
DJGRUMPY wins ($2.15 chips).
SHIPIT1227: u win 36 dollars an wont shut up
SHIPIT1227: first time winning huh>?
SHIPIT1227: i understand
SHIPIT1227: i would b happy my first win too

"u could of got me for way more"

Here's a line that I've never understood in poker chat: "u could of got me for way more". In this hand, he bets a small pot with king hi flush, I call with top set queens, turn the top boat, and then flat call his probe bet, then raise him strong on the river after his bet indicates he thinks he's still good. He calls, and then calls me an idiot because he would've paid me off even more. Go figure.

(Result for Hand 1599645032)
KODIAKZERO wins Hi($26.15) with (Full house, queens full of eights).
You've been awarded 3 Absolute Points + 1 FAME Status Point.
REHABSLAVE: nice catch
REHABSLAVE: your an idiot
KODIAKZERO: thx for paying
REHABSLAVE: u could of got me for way more
KODIAKZERO: lol
KODIAKZERO: so you're a bigger fish than I thought, ok
KODIAKZERO: I'll keep that in mind

Low Limit Tourneys - Makin Fun o' the Newbs

H-TOWN JOKER wins (1,440 chips).
Blinds have been raised to 10/20
VUNIT1: moron
H-TOWN JOKER: ?
VUNIT1: kodiak
H-TOWN JOKER: lol
KODIAKZERO: excuse me?
H-TOWN JOKER: lol
VUNIT1: no excuse
KODIAKZERO: fold it and shut it, beaccch
H-TOWN JOKER: lol
CALEXNI wins (1,320 chips).
KODIAKZERO: learn to play poker Cunit
VUNIT1: you mean raise and then fold
KODIAKZERO: exactly
KODIAKZERO: when you get to chapter 3, call me
H-TOWN JOKER: lol
KODIAKZERO: and then you can start calling ppl out
VUNIT1: so dumb
KODIAKZERO: I know, but you're new
LEDYES wins (720 chips).
KODIAKZERO: so we'll let it go
VUNIT1: you know that you are so dumb
VUNIT1: that's great
KODIAKZERO: lol
KODIAKZERO: newbie, stfu
CALEXNI wins (1,020 chips).
KODIAKZERO wins (250 chips).
1PAINTER1 wins (3,310) with (Straight, eight to queen).
Player H-TOWN JOKER has finished the tournament in # 39 place.
CALEXNI wins (100 chips).
KODIAKZERO wins (200 chips).
KODIAKZERO wins (300 chips).
KODIAKZERO: ha ha
LEDYES wins (2,310) with (Full house, jacks full of nines).
Player VUNIT1 has finished the tournament in # 38 place.
Blinds have been raised to 15/30
KODIAKZERO: moron
KODIAKZERO: I hope he heard that

Hands to make you quit poker

So I 4 bet it preflop with AAJJs to $52 in $1 PLO 6 max after this joker 3 bets with 2245s. He calls, then bets all in $80 on Q63 rainbow flop; not a bad play on the flop (big draw + fold equity), but how in the hell did he call $50 preflop with that junk?? For more than a third of his stack?? I had it bad all night (down $350 after crushing it night after night), but this hand epitomized the bad running.

My Miracle 3 outer on river

I tend to come into a table hot and heavy, and then change gears and tighten up. Here I overplayed AAxx, and when Ray min-checkraised my $15 turn bet, instead of steam-shoving, I call and river...(drumroll please)...the Royal. That last miracle card didn't slow him down at all, kind of like my aces earlier. But when a donkey like me makes a 3 card suckout on the river, why should it??

Omaha Wrap Shove

The action on this $1 PLO 6 max table was really dying off, so when I limped and bet the unraised pot flopping top set queens, and the guy on right checkraised the pot at me, I figured he must have a lesser set, given that there was no flush draw and any str8 draws would be way behind. So instead of flat calling I reraised the pot, and called when he shoved with his wrap draw.
I miscounted the first time I looked at this replay. Rather than the normal 8 outs with a wrap draw, holding the ace gave him a total of 13 outs. A wrap and flush draw give you got 15 outs for about a 50-50 shot from the flop, so he had slightly less than 50%, but close. Much better than a one-third shot with just a wrap. That's a very big point to remember in Omaha.

Monster Hand, Monster Call

I decided to keep jamming the pot with my wrap draws in this hand, and this guy followed until we rivered it. He shoved with 3rd nut str8, I monster called with 2nd nut str8 in a $230 pot.

Live by the sword,...

Playing $1 PLO 6 max with a big stack bully raising pot preflop every hand, then betting people out. He doubled me up twice when I picked up massive draws, most notably here in this $300+ pot. I flopped open-ended plus medium FD, he shoved on turn with just the slightly higher FD when I hit nut str8. He had well over $500 (two-and-a-half buyins), but overplayed his draws and dropped down to about $50.

Gamefly Ad - Me after bad beat online

I f'ng love this commericial. This is exactly how I feel after an online suckout (in anything other than poker, that line would be questionable).

AAxx holds in PLO vs 3 others

I'm at the end of a great run at AP, up well over $1000 in the past two weeks with a lot of variance. I dropped $150 in a 30 minute session tonight, but recouped most of it when I felted 3 short stacks with AAxxs after 3 betting preflop. I put them all in on a 952 rainbow flop, and they all called! Go figure.

I made a huge mistake here, when I flopped top 2 pair against a guy I knew to be loose aggressive. My read was dead on - he had top pair deuce kicker plus FD, and I pushed the pot at him. I only won $5 back, 'cuz there was a guy who flopped the nut str8 going along for the ride. That sucked. I was only paying attention to the maniac, and got felted for it.

FlamingRadio

I have the hardest time playing 50PLO against this guy. He plays like a total maniac, like here; then there's the two hands where he flopped top set vs my bottom set and I paid off his pot bets on flop and turn (both checking to scary river), and then when he flopped quads vs my turned nut flush. It's a little easier to play against such a style in Texas Hold'em, but in Omaha it's different. Each hand is like a box of chocolates. I can only really play the pure nuts against him.